44: Book Two Page 10

  “Kate says you want to be a pediatrician?”

  “Oh, she remembered that?”

  His eyes glazed over for a moment.

  “Yeah, I still want to do that. I would have to go back to school, but I’d like to specialize in pediatrics sometime down the road.”

  I nodded and smiled, thinking he would make a great children’s doctor.

  I noticed Dr. Mortimer’s energy suddenly turned gray. He was nervous. I had a feeling he wanted to talk about something and I hoped it wasn’t any bad news about Nathaniel. I couldn’t take that on right now. Not with what I already had on my plate.

  “Hey,” he said, trying to sound casual. “I have a question for you. But you can tell me if I’m out of line. I promise it won’t hurt my feelings.”

  I was relieved. I knew it was about Kate.

  “Sure. What is it?”

  “I’m kind of at a loss with Kate lately and need some advice.”

  I didn’t want to say too much or make her mad. She wouldn’t like me talking about her with Dr. Mortimer. But I also wanted to help them.

  “Sure,” I said, hesitating a little.

  “Well.” He paused, fighting to find the right words. “I’m just wondering. Do you think if I can find Nathaniel and bring him in that I’ll have a chance with her again? I’m just not sure. She has that boyfriend and I’m trying to get a reading on that but can’t really. What do you think?”

  I thought about it for a minute. He turned and looked at me, waiting for an answer. His eyes were so serious and I could see that he was really deeply in love with Kate. Still. After all this time.

  But I didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t really know the answer. She could be stubborn sometimes.

  “I’m not really sure,” I finally said. “I know she…” I stopped and came up with some new words. “I know she really cares about you, Dr. Mortimer. And that she isn’t so in love with Colin. But, you’re right. I don’t know exactly what it would take for her to let all that stuff go.”

  I did have a strong feeling about what it would take, but I wasn’t going to say it. I was thinking that a bullet through his brother’s head would satisfy Kate. And maybe nothing else.

  Whatever I had just said seemed to lift his spirits a little.

  “Thanks. That helps. I know there’s not an easy answer. Anyway, I better focus on getting Nathaniel first, right? Then, hopefully, all this relationship stuff will just fall into place.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I think that would be a big part of her coming back around. Getting Nathaniel.”

  “Well, okay then. I better get ready.”

  He walked out of the kitchen and I heard Kate’s bathroom door close.

  I took my soda over to the sofa and sat down, flipping the channels.

  “Okay, Abby,” Dr. Mortimer said, walking toward the door.

  I was expecting scrubs, but he was more dressed up than usual.

  “You can reach me at the ER anytime. You have all the numbers. And I’ll be back in the morning just after seven or so. Sorry I couldn’t get any time off. I tried, but they’ve cut the staff tremendously this summer and it was too short notice. I hope it helps somewhat, me staying here during the day.”

  “It does,” I said. “It was great seeing you tonight. Plus it makes Kate happy.”

  I walked him to the door and said goodbye.

  After watching his car drive away, I brought out my laptop and checked my phone. Kate had left a message, telling me she had downloaded the pictures and I should have them in an email. There were a lot of pictures to go through.

  As I scanned the photos, that same heaviness crept back that I had felt before when I looked at those other missing women. It went fast. Most of the women didn’t match up to her at all. They either had the wrong hair color or face shape. There were a lot of them. Too many.

  I muted the TV and turned on some music. Gladys Knight and the Pips started singing about being someone’s woman.

  And then, two women later, I found her.

  It was the eyes that I noticed first. Even when she was alive, she had those stark, serious eyes. They stared right through me even from an old photograph.

  Her name was Annabelle Harrison. She was 27 years old and had lived in Portland, Oregon. She had gone missing on November 9, 2003. And she was last seen at a grocery store.

  I couldn’t believe it. I sat, staring at her picture and reading all her information over and over again.

  She had the same long, dark hair, but it was styled nicely in the picture, and flipped up at the ends. The picture looked like she was at a party of some sort, with a large banner in the background. And even though she was smiling, she had the same haunted look that most of the missing women had in their photos: a hollowness in their eyes, a vacant expression on their faces. An eternal sadness in their souls, almost like anticipation of what was to come. Like they knew.

  My stomach tightened as I phoned Kate. A small part of me was happy to have found her, but mostly I just felt a terrible sadness. Annabelle. It was odd that she had a name now, odd to see her filled out. Living.

  I ran my finger over her picture, thinking about her name. Annabelle. It was a beautiful name. I thought about her parents when they named her and all the hopes and dreams they must have had for her, never dreaming she would end up at the bottom of a river 27 short years later.

  I sighed, waiting for Kate to pick up. In a way finding her made all this insanity real. It wasn’t just my imagination.

  It was official. I really did see ghosts.

  CHAPTER 26

  “Really? You found her? That’s incredible! Awesome. Wait, hold on one second.”

  I could hear Kate talking to someone in the background. “Okay, sorry, I’m at Pioneer Place shopping with Erin. She’s in the dressing room. But I found a place to sit and go over the photos. I have my iPad here. Which one is she?”

  I told her. She pulled up the information a minute later.

  “Oh, my God,” she said before going quiet for a moment. “Wow, she looks just like the sketch you gave me. It’s eerie.”

  “Yeah, for me too,” I said. “You know, I thought I would feel better, but I don’t. I just feel really sad. What do you think happened to her?”

  “That’s what I’m going to find out tomorrow. But, Abby, you should focus on the good in all this. Remember that you’re going to be helping out her loved ones. It’s still an unsolved case, and I know how especially heartbreaking those are for the families. It’s a terrible thing not knowing what happened to someone you love. You’re giving them so much.”

  When Kate said that, I thought about Jesse. That was exactly it. He was like one of those that went missing. And it was a terrible feeling. I didn’t know what had happened to him. He had just vanished that day, and I wasn’t sure if he was ever coming back.

  “You’re right.”

  “Hey, did Ben make it over there today?”

  “Oh, yes. We had a pizza. It was nice seeing him.”

  “Good. I’m glad he’s there, but it’s too bad you have to be home alone tonight. Is there a friend or somebody you could go hang out with for a while?”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I said.

  I was thinking of Claire. At least I could write to her. Maybe that would help shake some of this awful feeling.

  “Good. Do it, Abby. This is great news. I have my work cut out for me tomorrow. I’ll try to find out what I can before heading home. I’m going to contact her family. Maybe they can help me get those divers out to the river.”

  “Sounds good,” I said.

  “It’s all good. Keep your eyes on the prize.”

  “I will,” I said. “Bye, Kate. Say hi to Erin and thanks again for everything.”

  “I’ll call you later tonight. Bye.”

  Eyes on the prize. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Annabelle was dead. I couldn’t see any prizes coming out of that. The time for prizes had passed.

  I tossed down the phone an
d it bounced off the sofa, landing on the ground with a thud.

  It had been a day from hell. At least, that’s how I was feeling. Bad. Feeling like I used to feel. Like I didn’t belong in my life.

  Like I was a freak.

  CHAPTER 27

  I needed some fresh air to change my mood. It was only seven and I thought I would go over to the park and watch a soccer game. I knew Jack and Tim played on a different team Monday nights. I put on my shoes and brought my cleats and shin guards, just in case they needed an extra player.

  As I was driving over, I realized that part of my sadness had to do with Jesse. If I was able to see ghosts, then why couldn’t I see him anymore? Where was he? I couldn’t stop thinking about what Claire had written, the part about how Jesse might have moved on.

  I knew it was selfish but I wanted him and needed him. With every passing day, I loved him more. But now I wondered if I didn’t love a ghost, but rather something else. A figment of my imagination.

  I saw Jack’s large pickup truck near the edge of the grass where it was always parked. It almost seemed like he lived here. I always saw his truck in the exact same place. He was seriously obsessed with the game.

  I walked up to the grass. They were in the second half. Jack saw me on the sidelines after a few minutes and waved.

  “Hey, AC, what are you doing here?” he asked, chasing down the ball as it bounced out of bounds. He threw it in to a teammate and ran back on the field.

  “Thought I’d just watch a game for a change,” I said.

  “Good! We’ll talk after. Don’t disappear.”

  It felt good to have friends. It was a new experience this year and I liked it. It wasn’t even like I was going to tell Jack anything, but I already felt better being outside and saying hello.

  The ref blew the whistle and the game ended. Everybody headed over to the sidelines. Jack had his usual entourage of friends following. Some of them were talking under their breaths, mad at the other team.

  “You okay, AC?” he asked.

  “Just needed some air. Had a little time to kill. Kate’s out of town and I didn’t feel like being by myself.”

  Jack wiped off his face with his sleeve.

  “Wanna come out with us? I’m supposed to meet up with Bree for a beer. Why don’t you come along?”

  That was the one thing that was a little strange this year about my new friends. They were all older than me and usually went out for drinks.

  “Oh, I’m good. I think I’ll just head home now. I enjoyed watching the game. You guys won, right? Why were those guys angry?”

  Jack looked to the side where his teammates were collecting their stuff and leaving. The other two teams about to play were already on the field. The sidelines were crowded, full of soccer players.

  “There were some real hacks out there tonight. The ref let them get away with a lot of crap. Hey, did you see my new jersey?”

  Jack pulled it down and turned around, smiling. He knew I’d hate it. It was a Sergio Ramos Real Madrid shirt.

  “Like I would say something about him,” I said. “Something nice, I mean. Come on. I can’t think of a dirtier player, except maybe van Bommel. Come to think of it, he would fit right in out here.”

  “Sergio’s just tenacious, that’s all,” he said. “You’ll come around, AC.”

  He laughed as I shook my head. He was just trying to make me mad.

  “But seriously. You don’t look like yourself or something. You okay?”

  “Just a hard day,” I said. “But I feel better.”

  We talked for a few more minutes. I was tired now, really tired. I headed home and locked everything up and got ready for bed.

  But first I had to write Claire and give her an update about how Kate had found Annabelle, and also about me seeing her so angry on the river. As I started writing, I stopped. Claire had written me in the morning, but I had missed it. Goose bumps crept up my arms as I read her email.

  “You’re in danger, Abby. Danger! I’m picking up on something. Not sure what. But for God’s sake, be careful.”

  I cringed. Claire had known. She knew that Annabelle’s ghost was angry and was coming after me on the river. I should have checked her message before leaving in the morning.

  I wrote back, telling her everything and asking for help. I wanted Claire to tell her that we were close to wrapping up the case. I wanted her to tell Annabelle to leave me alone.

  I headed to bed, dreading the river in the morning.

  CHAPTER 28

  I swallowed my fear as I grabbed my paddle.

  Focus, I told myself.

  Going backwards down the rapids had left me freaked out. Seriously freaked out. It brought back so much, too much. As I paddled us out into the calm waters, all I could think about was the dark place where I couldn’t breathe anymore. The darkness at the bottom of that lake.

  It left me wondering if I really was crazy for being out here all day, for taking this job as a river guide. Even though most days I felt good, maybe I hadn’t thought it through. Maybe I was just trying to prove something. Like some tragic hero. Like William Holden getting killed at the end of all those old movies.

  All it would take was one small mistake in the whitewater, one mistake to send me back to those waters. Kate was right. I had no business being out here. What was I thinking?

  And there was no one to talk to about it. I was totally alone. I couldn’t tell Ty or Dr. Mortimer or Jack about the ghost on the river and I couldn’t tell Kate that Annabelle had tried to hurt me. And although I wanted to think that she hadn’t done it intentionally, I really had no idea. I couldn’t be sure one way or the other.

  I just prayed that I wouldn’t see her again.

  My first group was a large family from Chicago. We got in and after I gave them instructions, it was a relief to feel that the flow of the water was back at its usual pace. I still wasn’t sure what had happened yesterday. That part wasn’t Annabelle’s fault. After all, she couldn’t control how much water was released from the dam upstream.

  I led us through Big Eddy, facing forward this time and full of a new fear I couldn’t quite shake. But I did well, catching the right channel and shooting the rapids with just the right amount of thrills. When we were out in the calmer section, Ty gave me one of his famous thumbs up.

  “Nice,” he shouted, his voice echoing off the rocks and down the river.

  The rest of the day was like that. Easy, really. And normal. Like it had been all summer. Done right with no problems. As we loaded up to go home, Ty walked up.

  “Hey. You know, we didn’t really get a chance to talk. I just wanted to say what a great time I had going on that hike.”

  “Me too,” I said.

  “Maybe we can do it again. Somewhere different. Like up in the mountains. I’ve been on some great hikes up there. How about Green Lakes?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’d love to. Green Lakes is killer.”

  After work, I headed over to the park. I wandered around, checking out the courts and the running path through the woods. Helping Annabelle wasn’t helping. She wasn’t getting me any closer to finding Jesse. She wasn’t stringing me along for the money because she wasn’t charging me. I knew she was doing her best. Maybe there just wasn’t anything anyone could do. Maybe it was all hopeless.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling. Why had Jesse vanished?

  I thought for a moment he might be mad about Ty. But that didn’t explain why he hadn’t been around all that time before. I walked the path through the forest and when I was by myself, I spoke to him.

  “I love you, Jesse,” I said, softly. “Please come back.”

  I hoped my words would cross between our worlds and reach him.

  “I still need you. Please come back to me.”

  Only a gentle breeze answered. I continued on the path looking for him, trying to fight the strong feeling, stronger now than the waves at Big Eddy, that I would never again see him.

  CHAPTER
29

  I didn’t see Dr. Mortimer when I got home. He had already left for work. I texted him, apologizing again about not being able to cook dinner while he was staying over. I saw that he had left all his stuff, probably in case Kate had to stay in Portland another day. He wrote back a little later.

  “How about a rain check? I can email you my schedule.”

  I sent back a smiley face.

  I headed over to my soccer game, grateful that I was playing. I needed to get my mind off things, get lost in the grass, and only think about a soccer ball at my feet. My brain was on overdrive and I needed a break. I needed a goal.

  I scored twice and we beat the Pirates 3-1.

  “So close to a hat trick, AC,” Jack said. “Nice game.”

  “You too, Jack. You had some great moves out there tonight.”

  He smiled as he shoved his ball into his soccer bag.

  “You seem back to your old self,” he said as he looked at me.

  I didn’t like it when people stared at me that way, but I knew he didn’t mean anything by it.

  “Yeah. Better day on the river.”

  “Good,” he said.

  I picked up my bag and checked the time. Kate would be home soon and I could hardly wait.

  CHAPTER 30

  Kate called before reaching the mountain pass and said she wouldn’t be home until after midnight.

  “Sorry, Abby. I got a late start. I was talking with Erin. But just go to bed. We can talk in the morning.”

  I could hear Diana Krall playing her piano in the background. It made me a little nervous, her driving back at these hours. I knew she must be tired.

  “Did you get some coffee?”

  “Got it right here. Hey, don’t worry. It’s a beautiful night and I’m pumped up. And there are still plenty of cars on the road.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay, I’m about to lose reception. If you’re sleeping when I get home, I’m not going to wake you. I want you to be rested in the morning.”