44 Book Four Read online

  “Well, June’s not so far away,” he said. “We’ll paint the town red on your birthday weekend.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  At least I had a few months to figure a way to get out of it.

  “So I’m gonna go clock out,” he said. “You can always call me if you can’t take Mo anymo’. I’ll talk you through the rest of your shift.”

  I laughed.

  “We’ll be fine. We’ve done it before, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know. I remember. That’s why I’m saying it. I got your back.”

  I threw a towel at his head, but he ducked out of the way before it hit his face.

  Mo and I said almost nothing to each other after David left, even though we were working side by side. The music had gotten louder again.

  “Maybe we could close early tonight,” she said as I stood by the window, watching the steady rain fall. Most of the light had left the sky.

  “Sure, if you think,” I said. I was sure Mike would be fine with it. He did that sometimes too if things got slow.

  I yawned, stared over at her for a minute as I collected some packages of Guatemalan coffee to put out on the shelf. She had a small diamond stud in her nose. Her hair was different shades, shoulder length with lots of product so it could stand up in parts.

  I tried to think of something to say or something to ask Mo, but it was hopeless. I didn’t want to come across like those nervous customers who felt compelled to make small talk with her. I just let the silence sit and grabbed the broom and started sweeping as I heard the door bells chime and saw two women come in.

  “Looks like you two are having a good time,” one of them said. Mo didn’t answer, but cut the music as I walked over to the cash register.

  Most of the customers who came in were either attracted to Mo or scared of her. She never smiled or said much, but her piercings and tattoos earned her a certain amount of respect. Even the bank ladies and men in suits who came in at the lunch hour would be friendly, even if they looked at her with fear. They would ask her about where the best place to get a tattoo was in town, or if it hurt. Or if she was going to get more. Most of the time she would nod and not even respond.

  “Really, you’re seriously getting one?” she’d say once in a while, staring at them with her dark eyes until they squirmed.

  Although she was pretty scary looking, I knew she really wasn’t that bad. David didn’t need to tell me. I watched her slow, gray energy move around her. She wasn’t full of life, but she wasn’t dark either. The way it floated around her reminded me of Dr. Mortimer’s energy, the way it looked right after he had killed Nathaniel. I figured that Mo probably carried a deep sadness of some sort with her, buried behind walls.

  I finished ringing up the women. They were just buying beans. I was glad that we wouldn’t have to wait for them while they finished drinks.

  “Thanks, hon,” the older one said, pulling up her hood and heading out into the rain. After the bells rang and they were gone, Mo came up to me.

  “I hate that hon shit,” she said.

  “Me, too,” I said, smiling.

  I boxed up the remaining pastries and left it on the counter. Mike donated them to the homeless shelters and every morning they came by to pick up the day-olds right before we opened.

  I grabbed a pound of the dark roast espresso beans from the shelf, and put it next to the register so I wouldn’t forget to take it home. It was one of the perks of the job. Free beans every week.

  It was pouring outside now, heavy drops pounding on the roof in a steady rhythm.

  “Let’s call it,” Mo said. I nodded and she turned the sign over and brought down the blinds.

  Mo cleared out the cash register, counted the money, and took it in the back to put away in the safe. When she came back out, we both started working on the espresso bar. We were working again side by side in complete silence, and once again I caught myself looking over at her arms.

  They really were striking. Both arms were covered in ink. Some of the tattoos were large, some small, all of them making some sort of statement. I made out a large heart with a crack down the middle, a girl holding an electric guitar, and a large cross.

  My eyes had stayed on them too long.

  “Thinking of getting one?” she said. I inhaled suddenly when our eyes met.

  I smiled awkwardly and shook my head. I tried to think of something smart to say, a good way to describe them that didn’t sound like those nervous women. They weren’t exactly beautiful, but they did have an interesting charm.

  “They’re so intricate,” I sputtered out finally, knowing how dumb it sounded.

  She looked down at the girl holding the guitar.

  “That’s supposed to be me playing,” she said, pointing. “And that’s the name of our band under it.”

  I moved a little closer and studied it.

  “No Mercy,” I said. “Cool.”

  She grabbed the broom for a final sweep around the store as I finished washing out the half and half canisters. It was crazy. In all the months since I had been working at Back Street, I realized that we had just had our first conversation.

  We finished up, closing only about 15 minutes earlier than usual. I phoned Kate, got her voicemail, and left a quick message telling her I was heading home.

  “You on tomorrow?” Mo asked, as we stood in the rain while she locked the front doors.

  “No,” I said.

  “Later,” she said.

  I watched as she took off across the asphalt, darting over the deep puddles. As I ran behind her, I realized that my Jeep was the only car parked in the lot and that Mo was walking. I caught sight of her sprinting away into the dark, wet night, turning off on Bond Street before I had a chance to offer her a ride home in the hard rain.

  CHAPTER 6

  The highway was empty and I stepped down on the accelerator, pushing the Jeep just past 65. I unrolled the window and let the warm air fill the car. It was a beautiful day with only a few clouds in the far distance, the sun high, looking down across the open desert.

  I hadn’t been out to the Badlands in a long time, hadn’t even been on this highway going east and cutting through the high desert in years. The hiking trail was only about 18 miles from town, but the landscape felt so removed and different from what I was used to. Gone were the mountain views and buttes and pine trees. This mostly flat, lonely land was filled with rocks and junipers and sagebrush and assorted desert grasses under a big sky.

  It was Friday and I felt lucky to have the day off. And although Ty had to work, he didn’t start until five which meant that we had the entire afternoon to hike.

  “Let me pick you up so we can drive there together,” he said when I called him.

  “No, I’ll be fine,” I said, sticking to my plan. “I want to stop by Big Sky Park first and get in some practice.”

  Big Sky was where I played soccer most of the time and it had six soccer fields, baseball diamonds, and even a bicycle motocross course. It was a great place to practice shooting, especially during weekday mornings and afternoons before school let out.

  “I can come along and practice with you,” he said.

  “It’s right on the way, Ty. I’ll just meet you at the trailhead. I’ll be fine. Really. I’ll call you when I finish.”

  “Okay,” he said, sounding a little frustrated. “I have to pick up my check and stop at the bank, so I’ll be there about one.”

  “See you then,” I said.

  Ty had started working over at 10 Barrel. There hadn’t been too much work up at the mountain this season, so he got a part-time job at the popular pub and brewery over on Galveston Avenue. But he seemed happy. Bend was becoming known as a beer hotspot across the country and Ty was pretty excited about having a job in the industry, even if he was a waiter. He was hoping they would teach him about the brewing aspect of the business. I was glad that he was still planning on working as a river guide this summer.

  I turned up Kathleen Edwa
rds as she sang about breakfast and monsters, slowing down when I saw the small sign for the Badlands. A minute later I pulled into the dirt lot by the Flatiron trailhead.

  There was only one other car in the lot, an older Toyota 4 Runner. I was surprised Ty hadn’t beaten me here.

  I had forgotten that it was never too crowded out here. Most people went up to the mountains or hiked along the river trail. Maybe it was too quiet for them. It suited me just fine. You could hear yourself think. Maybe that’s what kept people away.

  I jumped out, my legs a little sore from my run so I did some stretching while I waited. It had been a solid practice, my speed was getting better and so was my stamina. My shots were on target, low and hard, hitting the back of the net most of the time like they meant business.

  I heard the sound of a car on the highway and then saw the dust rise behind his pickup. Ty parked next to me.

  “Hey, Abby,” he said, jumping out and slamming the door.

  My insides churned like they always did when I saw him for the first time.

  “Hey,” I said, smiling.

  He walked up to me and pulled up his sunglasses briefly showing me his eyes while he smiled. It was an inside joke. I was always on him about how those particular glasses he loved to wear all year drove me crazy because I could never see his eyes and never knew where to look when we were talking.

  He reached over and pulled me close, kissing me softly on the lips.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he said, afterwards. “I didn’t want you waiting here by yourself like that. You should have stayed over at the park.”

  “I literally just got here. Seriously. Look, the Jeep is still warm,” I said, putting my hand on the hood.

  Ty sighed and put his hand on top on mine and let it sit there for a minute.

  “Didn’t mean to go all Christoph Waltz on you earlier,” he said before looking away. “I just, you know, worry sometimes.”

  I studied his energy. It moved like it always did, fast and light, dancing playfully around him. He smiled and leaned toward me, kissing me again.

  “I have extra water if you need it,” he said, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. I grabbed my pack from the backseat and locked the door.

  “Ready?”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said. “Been looking forward to it all morning.”

  He was wearing cargo shorts and a dark T-shirt and a fleece jacket tied around his waist. He was letting his hair grow out and it was becoming shaggy and long, touching the tips of his shoulders. He had a surfer thing going.

  We started walking on the trail which led to a sign and a board with a map. After studying it for a minute, we started walking down the dusty path that snaked through the brush.

  “So are we running or walking the five miles?” he asked. Ty was all about trail running lately.

  “How about we walk fast?” I said.

  “Perfect,” he said, taking my hand. “I still can’t believe nobody’s out here. It’s kind of nice, really.”

  I looked around.

  “It’s always like this,” I said. “Kate and I used to come out here to bike sometimes, years ago.”

  “How is Kate by the way? It feels like I haven’t seen her in a while.”

  “She seems okay. Painting.”

  “Which room now?” he asked.

  “Bathroom. She’s running out of walls though, so she might be heading to your house soon,” I said.

  I laughed nervously and hoped I hadn’t insulted him because the house he was renting was, actually, in dire need of a good paint job. Ty was living in one of those inexpensive, tiny places, back behind the Old Mill and not far from the river. He lived there with Brad, a childhood friend from Montana who had recently moved to Bend and was hoping to land a job as a river guide this summer.

  “Whatever Kate needs,” Ty said as we walked. “My walls are her walls.”

  “Only say it if you mean it,” I said.

  “I mean it.”

  A warm breeze hit us as we picked up the pace, walking up a small hill and then back down the other side.

  “Maybe we can talk her into coming out for a beer or dinner this weekend,” he said, after a few minutes. “She works too hard.”

  It struck me as odd that he said that, but then I remembered that Ty really hadn’t known Kate that long at all, even if they had become fast, good friends. He had picked us up from the airport on that cold winter afternoon following the kidnapping. He stayed every night for a week, bringing us dinner, going to the store, picking up work for Kate at the newspaper so she didn’t have to leave me. He had been incredible and helped us get through those first few tough weeks.

  “Well, Kate’s not really working like she used to,” I finally said.

  It seemed important to me, for some reason, for him to know her better.

  “You should have seen her before, before all that happened. She hardly ever came home, worked all weekend. She was an insane workaholic, filing twice as many stories as the other reporters. The kidnapping changed her. Sometimes I think it changed her more than it did me. She only goes in for the basic 40 hours a week now and spends the rest of her time fixing up the house. It’s kind of weird.”

  He was quiet for a moment.

  “She’s just trying to cope with everything,” he said. “That was a terrible thing you went through. And even though it happened to you, worrying is a bitch. It really takes it out of you.”

  A wave of guilt washed over me as I thought about how I hadn’t told Ty everything. He knew the basic story, about how Nathaniel Mortimer wanted to continue his research on me and about how his brother had accidently shot him. And about Jack Martin, of course. But there was still so much Ty didn’t know about me and maybe that was why I wasn’t really sure where we stood in terms of a relationship.

  He didn’t know about the ghosts I sometimes saw walking around town, or about seeing Jesse, Emma, or Annabelle. He didn’t know anything about those visions I once had of Nathaniel killing people. Or about the energy I saw swirling around people that gave me an insight into their moods. I wanted to tell him, some of the time, but other times it felt like he knew enough about the crazy side of my life. I didn’t want to scare him away, I guess. But now I was wondering. I was wondering if there was any chance for a relationship that had such secrets.

  Ty checked his odometer that he wore on his wrist and then grabbed my hand again as we walked on the trail, the warm sun strong in our faces. It felt great to be out here, on the edge of summer, on the edge of other good things.

  “I’m going this weekend to get my board,” he said.

  “Cool.”

  Ty had been saving up to buy a paddleboard to take out in the mornings on the Deschutes.

  We walked a little farther.

  I wondered if I was falling in love with him. I could feel it in my stomach and in my knees, always wobbly whenever I saw him. But I told myself I wasn’t ready to get serious yet, and I told him too, regularly. He always said it was okay, that he was happy with how things were and that he could wait. But I knew things would have to move forward at some point, and probably pretty soon. And the truth was that sometimes I wanted them to as well.

  I knew my hesitation with Ty had to do with Jesse. I was better about it than before, much better, and had been really trying to let Jesse go. But it was nowhere near easy. I still loved him and I wondered if that feeling had to die before I could move ahead with Ty.

  But other times it felt like it was really possible to love two people at the same time, which was surprising. I thought that if you really loved someone with your whole heart, there wasn’t any room to love someone else. But lately I wasn’t so sure.

  After a couple of miles, we climbed up a small ridge and stopped, looking out across the quiet desert.

  “Amazing,” Ty said.

  It felt like we were the only ones around, although just as I thought that, we saw a couple of bikes coming toward us, down the trail. They must have been hea
ding back to the parking lot and I was guessing that the 4 Runner belonged to them.

  Ty put his arm around me.

  “I love being with you, Abby,” he said, his eyes hidden behind his shades.

  “Me, too,” I said, knowing that it didn’t make too much sense. I hoped he knew what I meant.

  We walked back on the trail and I thought about David. He must be right. Ty was my beautiful boyfriend.

  In another minute the bikes were right on top of us. We stepped aside and let them pass.

  I saw something else moving behind us in the distance down the trail. At first I thought it might have been wildlife, maybe a mule deer or coyote, but after a few seconds it became clear that it was a person, another hiker.

  We reached a large fire pit that I hadn’t noticed when we were coming in. It was filled with old burned-out coffee and bean cans.

  “Strange,” I said. “Who would sit around and burn up hundreds of old cans?”

  Ty picked up one of the larger ones. It looked like a relic from an ancient civilization, although I did notice that it had the letters Y-U-B-A-N bubbling over the charred metal.

  “Hey, don’t you think this would be very cool as a vase? You could put flowers in them.”

  “Really?” I asked. I couldn’t see it, they looked kind of junkyardy to me.

  “Yeah. It’ll look cool,” he said, kicking a few around with his foot. “Artsy. You’ll see. Do you think Kate would like one?”

  I thought of the new leather furniture and lamps.

  “Well, I don’t think it’s exactly her style,” I said.

  “I’m bringing back a few. If she doesn’t want one, I’ll use them all. We need to do a little decorating. This will be perfect.”

  I made sure not to laugh as Ty picked up a few cans and I helped, careful not to cut myself and end up with a severed finger or lockjaw. Maybe he was right. Maybe with some flowers in them, they would look good. Maybe.

  We walked back down the trail with our cans, stopping for water once. Again, I saw movement behind us and this time it caused my heart to race. I was always so jittery lately, even with Ty by my side.

  But I settled down when I saw that the stranger behind us was just a kid. He was still kind of far, but I could make out his Guns N’ Roses T-shirt. It didn’t make any sense for him to be out here all alone. I supposed he could have lived in one of the ranches I saw when I drove in or maybe he belonged to a band of can-burning nomads.