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  “I’m thinking about just skiing to work,” said Colin, a reporter. “I’m so sick of shoveling my driveway every morning.”

  “Oh, this snow is nothing. You guys are spoiled, right Nathaniel?” Dr. Mortimer said.

  “Oh, yeah. I forgot we had some East Coasters at the table,” Tony said.

  “So, Nathaniel, how long are you here for?” Kate asked.

  “I have to leave on Sunday unfortunately,” he said. “But I get back to Bend occasionally. The company I work for has St. Charles as one of its clients.”

  “Nathaniel is working on a cancer research project and a lot of hospitals around the country are interested in his results,” Dr. Mortimer said, smiling. It was easy to see that he was really proud of his younger brother. They seemed like pretty good friends, too.

  The conversation turned toward the football game as the Patriots scored a touchdown and Tony started cheering like a madman, his face growing darker and darker. He had put money down on the game, he said, after he noticed everybody was staring at him.

  “Okay, the pies are all sliced up on the table. We have four different kinds. Please help yourselves,” Kate announced.

  Everybody wandered over to the kitchen. Kate put Nora Jones on and the newsroom group started chatting about the District Attorney who had fired five of his attorneys because he didn’t like them. The night had been festive and fun and it was good to see Kate so happy. As the hours and pies disappeared, people started putting on their coats and leaving.

  “Dinner was fantastic!” Erin said as she hugged us both in front of the door. “Thanks a bunch. And see you in a few hours!”

  We were going shopping in the morning. For the past four years, Erin, Kate, and I woke up before dawn on Black Friday and went shopping at all those crazy sales. This year I didn’t really want to go. I hated running into people I knew out in public, and Bend was a small enough town where that happened a lot. But I was looking forward to spending time with Erin and I liked doing traditional stuff. It made me feel rooted.

  “Yeah, can’t wait,” I said, my face lost in her hair.

  “Thank you for such an amazing dinner. This was one of the best evenings I’ve had in a very long time,” Nathaniel said, giving me a hug. I was glad he was more comfortable with us now.

  Dr. Mortimer talked a moment with Kate as everyone said goodbye. It could have been my imagination, but I thought I saw Matt watching them. I also noticed a white light around Kate as she spoke, which made me wonder if her feelings were changing for the doctor. Maybe Matt had picked up on that somehow, because for a second, he didn’t seem too happy.

  When everybody had left, Kate and I headed to the kitchen to help Matt, who was already busy with the cleanup.

  CHAPTER 10

  That night I couldn’t sleep. I watched the snow fall gently out the window. Kate had been in bed for an hour and Jesse wasn’t picking up. But then I heard Kate stumbling around. She was one of those types who didn’t need too much sleep. I was happy that she was up.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” I said, wiping tears off my face.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. Her slippers swished across the floor. “I could make tea.”

  Kate’s solution to everything was Earl Grey.

  “No, I’m good, thanks,” I said. She sat down next to me and we both watched the snow.

  “Missing Mom,” I said. Kate reached over and hugged me.

  “Me too.”

  We were quiet for a while.

  “It was a fun night though,” I said.

  “Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? It was great to see everybody. It seemed like they all got along really well.”

  I yawned.

  “We better get to bed,” she said. “We have exactly two hours before Erin will be knocking on the door.”

  CHAPTER 11

  Jesse came back home on Sunday. I picked him up and we headed over to Drake Park. It was cold, but the snow had stopped and there were no clouds in the bright sky. It must have been blue. That was one thing I really missed: seeing those beautiful blue skies in Bend. Every time I looked up and saw a white sky my heart sank a little. Bend’s sky was the best.

  As we walked along the river, I clapped my hands for warmth. Thick snow hugged the banks, but on the little footpath it wasn’t too deep. The river was frozen in some parts, but mostly the calm water was flowing.

  I was excited that Jesse had called.

  “So how was Thanksgiving?” he asked. He had brought two slices of bread and handed one to me so that we could feed the ducks and geese. Bend had recently declared war on the waterfowl. In fact, just before Thanksgiving the city had slaughtered 50 Canadian geese and gave them away to poor families. It was a strange action for the city, but according to the politicians, there were too many birds and they were ruining the parks with their excrement.

  It was weird seeing the ducks. I always used to love those green shiny parts, but now I only saw grays. I wondered if I even remembered what green looked like.

  I threw a chunk of bread in the water. Two ducks were on top of it within a second.

  “Yeah, it was fun,” I said. “Wish you could have been there.”

  “Me too,” he said. He threw a piece high into the air and we watched it splash into the river.

  “How’s your mom doing?” I asked.

  Jesse looked at me.

  “Fine, I guess,” he said. “I don’t know. We don’t really talk much. She’s had a tough year. I thought going would help, but I don’t think it did.”

  We walked a little more. I was grateful that we seemed to be back to our goofy relationship, Jesse high fiving me in the air knowing I couldn’t reach his hand, kicking each other and running, and talking about the football playoffs.

  I decided to tell him about my dream and the photo of the man that Kate had shown me.

  “It was some sort of vision or something,” I said. “Jesse, it was the same guy. I saw him die. Right in front of me.”

  “A vision?” he said, picking up pinecones and hurling them at me.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s what it was,” I said.

  Jesse was quiet.

  “You’re not saying anything,” I said finally, feeling self-conscious by his lack of response. Geez, was everything off limits these days?

  “Look, Craigers, first off, you shouldn’t be calling them visions,” he said. “That just sounds kind of crazy. Call it a dream instead or something.”

  I sighed.

  “But it wasn’t a dream. You saying that makes me think you’re not taking me seriously.”

  “Come on, I’m just looking after you. People will get the wrong impression if you go around town talking about visions, that’s all. And you already have enough of those freaks you have to deal with.”

  “I don’t go around talking about visions to anyone. Just to you.”

  He picked up a rock and skipped it across the Deschutes. Four skips. Not bad, but I threw one and got six.

  “Let’s go again,” he said.

  We did it a few more times.

  “So, what exactly did you see in your dream?” he asked.

  “I saw someone, an old man. He had this huge tattoo on his neck. When I told Kate, she told me that it was the old guy who she went to investigate. The one they found in the river up by Old Mill.”

  Jesse lifted his eyebrows.

  “So you just saw some old guy in your dream?”

  “It wasn’t just an old guy, Jesse. It was the same old guy who died in the river. And I don’t think it was an accident. I think someone killed him. I know it sounds nuts,” I said.

  “That does sound nuts,” Jesse said. “I thought Kate wrote an article about how it was an accident or something. How does it turn into a murder?”

  “It’s a feeling I have,” I said. “A strong feeling. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I know what dreams are and this was not a dream.”

  Jesse looked around.

  �
��Look, do you want my honest opinion?”

  I didn’t really, but nodded anyway.

  “I think you shouldn’t think too much about any of that, Craigers. You just don’t need this now, that’s all I’m saying. You need to keep getting better and focus on school and your life. Things that matter. Leave all this alone, it doesn’t involve you.”

  His voice was strange and I was a little surprised by his attitude. Jesse loved mysteries. I was fully expecting him to help me solve it.

  “And one more thing,” he said, serious again but throwing pinecones straight up into the air and watching them fall back down. I threw one up that went half as high as his.

  He walked over to me and stood close. I stared up into his face, looked at his lips. I wanted him to kiss me, and I knew he wanted to. Maybe he had changed his mind while he was gone, had a chance to think about us. With one passionate kiss, the kind of kiss I knew we both wanted, that terrible memory could be erased forever.

  But he leaned in toward my ear and whispered instead.

  “Don’t mention this to your shrink. Nothing good will come from it, I guarantee.”

  Then he picked me up and started spinning me around. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  CHAPTER 12

  As I sat on the bench with all the subs, kicking at the grass, I thought about what Dr. Krowe had said about quitting the team. There was nothing quite like going from starting forward to being on the bench as a sub. It felt awful. He had been right. I should have quit.

  The rain of the last few days had melted a lot of snow and the field was a dark shade of gray, soggy and full of holes. I hadn’t been out on it and I was sure that unless five starters suddenly got taken down, I would be sitting for the rest of the game.

  The season had ended with the team only winning twice. For the first time in years, we didn’t make the playoffs. Coach organized some extra games because he wanted to give the seniors some more time on the field.

  Amanda was in goal, doing a decent job. The Summit forwards were putting on a lot of pressure, but shot after shot, Amanda stopped them.

  Our team ended up winning. It was a brief moment, but for a little while I felt that same great feeling pulsate through me, the way I used to feel after a game. The girls hugging, the crowd cheering, the coach giving his happy-after-the-win speech. It felt good.

  I walked to the Jeep and drove home. My body was aching from the cold and I was looking forward to a hot shower and dinner.

  Kate didn’t get home until late. I had a pile of books opened on the table and had almost finished my homework when she walked through the door.

  “Hey, Abby,” she said. She was carrying a stack of files and put them on the table.

  “Hey,” I said. “Looks like your day isn’t over yet.”

  “Yeah,” she said.

  After we talked a bit, I headed to bed. I thought about Jesse. The boy was the most stubborn human being on the planet. I couldn’t figure out if I had to let things be or try to push him. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

  And again, I fell into the dark, icy water and into another vision.

  Bubbles flew up around me. A light filtered through the gray above as I was being pulled down into the murky black. I screamed, trying to swim to the top, but I kept on sinking.

  But something was new. I was able to step out of the water for the first time. I could breathe!

  Everything was hazy and I didn’t know where I was. It smelled like lilacs as steam surrounded me, warm against my cold skin. My heart pounded in my chest.

  Then I saw her. At first, just her face. A woman, a little older than Kate, with long dark hair. She didn’t see me, even though I was in front of her. She was in a bathtub, the water full of bubbles. Suddenly she sat up, startled, frightened, like she knew I was there. But it wasn’t me she saw. It was a dark figure, a man, with his back to me. Terror filled her eyes.

  She screamed as he grabbed her ankles and lifted her up, forcing her head under the water. Waves rolled out of the tub, soaking the floor as she struggled. It seemed to last forever.

  I just stood there, paralyzed in fear. I didn’t scream, I didn’t do anything.

  Then it was quiet.

  Her head floated back up to the top, eyes open and lifeless. He stood over her before bending down and whispering something.

  I started shivering, backed away before suddenly being thrown back in the lake again, swimming above them, away from the horrible scene. I swam upward, toward the light at the surface, needing to inhale the air from above. But I didn’t make it.

  I had to breathe in the black water. Again.

  I woke up shaking.

  Kate was still working in the living room. When she saw me stagger out, she rushed up with a blanket and led me to the sofa. We sat. I told her everything.

  “How’s your head?” she asked, worried.

  “Okay, I think,” I said. I felt weak and destroyed.

  I drank some tea, tried to calm down as I told Kate everything. Cautiously, she asked some questions.

  “So she’s Asian, you’re sure?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “She was in the bathtub when he pulled her feet up and drowned her. I saw it happen, Kate! I was right there!”

  I took a few deep breaths. Tears pooled in my eyes. She stood up and paced around the living room.

  “Do you have any idea where this happened? Did you see anything else like an address or a house or apartment?”

  I tried to remember.

  “No,” I said. “But he’s tall. And strong. But not muscular.”

  I shuddered at the thought of those hands wrapped around her ankles, the pounding of her fists on the ceramic.

  “These really aren’t dreams, are they?” she asked.

  “No,” I said.

  Kate got me a tissue and I blew my nose.

  “You should try to get back to sleep,” she said. “There’s nothing we can do right now. I’ll see what I can do as soon as it gets light.”

  I nodded. I knew in the morning Kate would be searching for her body. And I knew that she would find it or hear about it soon. It was just a matter of time.

  “Anything else about the killer? Facial hair or something?” she asked.

  I couldn’t tell her that I was too scared to get any closer, too scared to look. I couldn’t tell her that his coldness struck a fear in me that I’ve never felt before.

  “No, he had his back to me,” I said.

  “You’re sure, Abby? That she was killed?”

  “I’m sure,” I said. “The old man too. The visions had the same feeling, the same energy. His energy.”

  There was no doubt in my mind. There was a killer loose in Bend.

  CHAPTER 13

  It was crowded downtown on account of the lunch hour and the big trial at the courthouse. Volunteers for Winter SnowFest were stringing up banners. I walked along the plowed sidewalks as a mean wind blew up off the river, bringing the air temperature down into the teens.

  I turned down Delaware Avenue and found police cars lining the block. There was an ambulance parked in a driveway of a small house on the corner. Kate’s car was parked a little ways down.

  They had found her. I was in American history when Kate sent a text saying that a woman had been discovered dead in a house downtown. My pass was waiting at the office.

  Kate was standing outside next to a group of people in various uniforms. She glanced up and saw me and signaled me to back off. Then she sent me another text telling me to meet her at Thump, the coffeehouse we always went to. She would be there shortly.

  I lingered for a few minutes longer and watched as she spoke to the ambulance driver. I knew there was really no need for an ambulance to be there or the EMTs. It was a pick-up-a-body call only. The woman had been dead for hours. I saw that Kate was working her magic and sure enough, after a few moments, the guy opened the back of the vehicle and let her step inside.

  Kate was in there for what seemed like forever. When she
emerged, her face was pale and her hair was being blown into her face. I could tell she was shaken. It was never easy seeing death, I knew that now, too.

  I started walking into the bitter wind. It was freezing. I pulled my coat tighter as I tried to think about why all this was happening. Bend was a small city and it hardly ever had any murders. The last one had been over a year ago when a husband shot his wife eight times one night, claiming he thought she was an intruder. The jury saw it differently.

  And now, within a month, two people had been killed. And for some reason, I was hooked into what was happening, had seen them both die.

  My phone rang.

  “I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Kate said.

  I went inside Thump and got in line for the cappuccinos. It was packed, but a couple left and I slipped into the corner table and waited. Kate walked over, heels pounding the floor.

  “Was it her?” I asked.

  She shook her head.

  “Exactly how you described,” she said. “Long, dark hair, Asian woman. Found dead in the bathtub.”

  Kate had that older-than-her-years look again.

  “What in the hell is going on, Abby?” she said as she grabbed her cup. “Somehow you’re following some killer around in your dreams. How is that possible?”

  Soft music floated through the noisy crowd.

  “It was awful, just awful to see her,” she said. “The poor woman had this terrible expression frozen on her face. I’ll never forget it.”

  She closed her eyes and sat for a moment before taking out her notepad from her large, black purse.

  “Okay. Here we go.” She took a deep breath. “According to Mike, the paramedic, it was an accident.”

  “What?”

  “She was in the bathtub, and their theory is that she somehow passed out and drowned. Maybe she had a medical condition and fainted.”

  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Well, it’s just their initial theory. Someone even suggested that it might be a suicide. I guess she recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years and she was distraught. But the coroner will do an autopsy and they’ll have a thorough investigation.”